Time...

Ah...The ever elusive time.  We are never content, it seems, with the time we have been given.  We want it to slow down, speed up, we need more of it, there just doesn't seem to be enough time to go around!  What is it about life that makes us beg for it to slow, or for more of it?  I mean we can't really make more time.  We all are given the exact same amount of time in the day, and we need to learn how to make the most of what we have been given.

Being put in the hospital on bed rest for 5 weeks, plus the recovery time at the end, has really made me realize that time is all in what we make it!  Now, I have known this before, and have always thought of myself at being a good time manager.  And to be honest, I thought the worst part about this whole bed rest thing was all the "wasted" time I was going to have.  I mean really, what on earth was I supposed to do with 5 weeks of "free time?"  Free time was barely accounted for in my day to day living.  I mean, I chase and train four small children around all day! When they are sleeping it is time to catch up...do the dishes, the laundry, the sweeping, the mopping(so no one falls trying to run on the wet floor!).  Me time-well that just wasn't really in the plans.  That was something I could maybe squeeze in from 10p-11p at night, and usually by that point I was too tired, I would do my quiet time, and then just stare at the wall! Kind of a waste of time, but a debriefing of sorts after my busy day, which I found my body to need before I could settle into a good sleep!

What I have found out about time is even on bed rest, you can still wish for more.  Funny right??? I have been given all the time in the world.  And here I sit, wishing for more? What on earth is wrong with me?  We live in such a busy, go go go world, it is so hard to just be, and I mean really be in the moment.  I have learned to be content, and to love the moment that I am in.  And I am actually loving my bed rest.  YES, you heard that correct, I am loving it. And no it isn't because I don't have to spend my day chasing kids around from sun up to sun down, because I miss that part of my day. I yearn for the day when I get to do all that again, and get to bask in the little moments with my children. And I know that day will come soon (relatively speaking!).  I have already finished 2 weeks here at the hospital.  I have no idea where those two weeks have gone.  I thought I would have made a chain counting down the days until I can break out of here.  But instead I have chosen to give myself tasks, deadlines, and the ability to do things for myself.  This has been a wonderful time of refreshment for my soul. I have been able to paint my toenails without 4 heads watching me, and trying to touch the pretty polish! (I do miss that though!)  I have been able to take a long, hot shower.  I have been able to read! Read big people books!  I read a lot during the day to my children, but reading books that are good for my soul, has brought a whole new wave of refreshment to my life.  I have been able to calm myself from the busy.  Something I think we all need from time to time!  It is good for us to slow down, take a break, and just be.

God knows I don't slow down for anything, I thrive on being a goer, and packing as much on my to-do list as possible.  I am good at judging myself for the day based on how many things I got crossed off the list, or how many additional things I have added. He also knows that I need time with Him, and with myself to find myself in Him again.  And sometimes He does that in such dramatic ways, we have no choice but to shut up and listen!  Well, Lord, you have my attention, and my time.  Please help me to use this time wisely!  Help it to not slip from my finger tips, by filling it with useless things.  Help me to minister to others, and come up with my mission for the next year.  The quiet has been nice, and oh so good for my soul.  And I choose to thank you Lord, for giving me this time of peace.  A time to reflect on all you have done in my family's life, and in my own.  A time to truly reflect on you this Christmas season.  A time of anticipation, much like Mary must have felt knowing the time was near.  I cannot imagine!

"He says, Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10a