Our Gift. Our Wonderful Gift from God!
Really is more like a thousand gifts and provisions. I cannot even count the many ways He has blessed us in the past year! Let's start close to the beginning, ok?!
I found out we were having another baby the first week in May. I am not going to lie, I cried. I mean I really cried. I just stared at the pregnancy stick, knowing I was pregnant before I even took the test, but still not believing it. How on Earth does one person manage FIVE small people 5 and under...wait, what will the due date be? Oh no! I rush to my computer (no smart phone here), and type all the information into the due date calculator. REALLY?! My due date is Jan 12th....2 weeks before my oldest turns 5. That means I will have almost 3 weeks before my oldest is 5, and I will have four kids 4 and under. Oh my goodness...the looks, I cannot bear any more looks, they already think I'm crazy. UGH...do we have to tell anyone? Maybe one day we can just magically appear with an extra?! What are we going to do with 5 babies? I don't have the patience for the 4 I have, and now we are throwing one more into the mix? What about my body, oh goodness, I pray we make it?! I'm not kidding, all of these were very real thoughts that ran through my head. NOT because I was ashamed to have a baby, but because of all the shaming looks I get everywhere I go with 4 small ones in tow! I LOVE my babies, and I would do anything for them. But society as a whole, well, they are very draining, they look down on you, and act surprised when your children behave in public, or if you have more children than they personally deem necessary. Greg gets home...I show him the test. He looks surprised, but he hides it well, he is good at hiding, him being the quiet soul that we all need! He says "what are we going to do?" I laugh "What can we do?" By this time, I had wrapped my head around it, and was actually starting to feel that joy come back, joy for a little one, though unexpected, would be a perfect fit for our family. God chose to give us this gift, and he would give us the grace, and the joy (if we choose it!), and the patience to make it through! We hug, smile, and know, in the end, it is all in God's control. Everything, God ordains everything. "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice" Philippians 4:4. Funny if you keep reading, you then come across this. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation ,by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6, 7
Here is a short back story, on a bit of the panic, that came with this baby surprise...other than the looks, and weird glances I receive almost everywhere I go! While having Noah, we hear "oh look, we can see the baby." Then the Anesthesiologist says, "Ok they are getting ready to cut the uterus and pull baby out! Get ready!!" We are excited and this conversation slips past me. (*notice anything weird in that conversation order! Neither did we at the time, all too caught up in the moment!) Fast forward a few days, Dr comes in and says "Well, looks like you are recovering good, I wouldn't recommend any more babies any time soon. But you can talk to your Dr. about that at your 6 week check up. And next time I would probably send you to a high risk Dr., I'm not sure about doing another C-section on you!" Dr. walks out... "Wait, what?" I turn to my husband, "Did he just say what I think he said...next time I need to go to a high risk Dr. Why on Earth would I need to do that? Especially if we are going to wait a couple years? So confused...oh well!" "I guess, he just thinks we had too many too close, weird, oh well" Hubby responds. Fast forward a bit more...Now I am at my 6 week checkup. My Dr finishes everything up, comes back into the room, and says "Everything looks good, Did the other Dr. by any chance tell you about your uterus?" "Umm..not really, just said to follow up with you for my 6 week check, and that next time we need to go to a high risk Dr...why?" I reply. "Well, your uterus was so thin we could see right through it. We call that a window. That is NOT something we like to see. I just kept thinking while you were on the table, oh goodness please don't sneeze...It was THAT thin, I thought if you sneezed your uterus would rupture right there in front of me!" Yikes! I let that sink in on the drive home, and promptly tell Greg upon our first moment of quiet. We google uterine windows, and uterine rupture...you know how you should never google anything...really DON'T!! Moral of what we learned...If my uterus ruptures and I'm at home, they like to have baby out in 35 minutes, this assures that mom doesn't die of a bleed out, and baby comes out alive, and hopefully not brain dead! Anyway, now we see the concern through a whole different set of eyes, and see why, we really CANNOT get pregnant any sooner than 1-2 years. We decided to use two different forms of birth control to make sure there were no issues.....Fast forward 9 months! Guess what?! We are pregnant. Now you see my concern, my fear, and my issues with why I don't think I can or should be pregnant! But believing this little life is a gift from God, we embrace joy! We hold it close, and honestly we tell no one about how dangerous this pregnancy really could be for me! I don't like to live in fear! We cling to God, HIS plan, and HIS promises. We know it will all turn out good. I also know to watch out for any weird pains, as they can be a sign of something major! Fixed with this knowledge we move forward. And funny enough, no high risk Dr was needed (at least, not yet!) I should also mention that we go for our first ultrasound, and they tell me my due date is incorrect, we are actually due January 23rd and not the 12th...which means that I found out I was pregnant pretty much as soon as it happened! Which to me, means I will only have five children 4 and under for about a week, totally doable right?!
We continue to move forward in this blessing of a pregnancy, we do decide to tell people. I mean come on, I get HUGE fast, there really is no hiding a pregnancy for me! I find joy in all the little moments, even the moments where I am so sick I don't want to move from the couch in the evening. The kids are so good, at helping and taking care of me when I need to rest, as is Greg! We have a house full of extra kids, that come and go through out the summer, and some that stay longer! We love having extra little faces around to love on! Usually those of friends! We have a great summer! We celebrate our current baby turning 1, and being sooo big! We celebrate our anniversary, my birthday, and Halloween! All without a hitch. We are doing good so far, and if you ask me about my pregnancy I will laugh and tell you all is good. Sometimes I feel like a ticking time bomb, thinking I might just explode somewhere, anywhere... will we be ready? Will we be ok? My fears are always calmed by God, and they are gone as quickly as they came. We live a joyful, and a full life, one I wouldn't change for the world! I do tell a couple people about what my future could hold, but I always tell them not to worry, we will be fine. I had claimed that I would be fine. I was confident in the fact that God would take care of me, and our new gift. He would see us through this and bring us all out alive. I was confident in God, and the fact that He can and does perform miracles. Obviously you are reading this today, and this means He has shown us some of His best miracles! Can you see all the precious gifts and miracles we have been given? I can, and they are too many to count. They are wonderful. I have made it to November, that is seven-ish months of miracles. Seven-ish months of protecting me, seven-ish months of a beautiful, growing baby inside my ever growing belly! Seven-ish months of time with family and friends. Seven-ish months of health!!
Mid-November (November 19th to be exact!) I start having some pain, Now I have already written about my stay in the hospital so I will keep this portion brief(hopefully)! I am grateful that God put it in my heart to go to the hospital, and get checked. I hate going in for no reason, or for people to think I'm freaking out for no reason. I called first, and they called my Dr, who then immediately called me, and told me to get up to OB now! I listened. I listened to God, and I listed to my Dr. Thank goodness! I am blessed that I went in, and that God took care of us. On the way to the hospital all I could hear, and all I could do was sing "Be still and know that I am God" that line just rings over and over in my ears and across my lips. Turns out we get transferred to Wesley, and again the whole hour drive there all I can here is "Be still and know that I am God." How can you doubt anything with that ringing in your ears, echoing into your whole being? This verse saturated me, it reassured my spirit that God was in control and all I needed to do was be still! What a Mighty God we serve! I have one more episode of severe pain while at Wesley but the rest of my 5 1/2 week stay goes off without a hitch! I learn to love the quiet there, and all the nurses. I am able to listen, I mean really listen to what God is telling me about my life. I know I am where I am supposed to be. My children are well cared for by all our family back home, and although I miss them dearly during this time, I know all is well. I can just be. Baby and I can grow, and be peaceful, we can learn to love life again, and all the little moments, because when you have a scare and think maybe this is something major, well let's just say your eyes are opened a bit more to all the little things around you. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. This experience has taught me to really live, and to rely on God more than I ever have before. I had to rely on Him to continue to keep us safe, for him to keep my children safe and secure with family. To help them stay calm and not be anxious. For my husband to be ok with a momentary bachelor pad, one that was eerily quiet compared to the chaos that usually rings through all the walls! "Be still and know and that I am God" Psalm 46:10a The verse for my stay, along with the one that we were "coincidentally"(note: I believe everything is God ordained) learning for school that week. "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 My resolve for while I am there, I will give thanks for everything, and I will be still! What refreshment for my soul, my soul that is usually busy, gets to be still and give thanks! The Lord always knows what we need! Do you see all the gifts? I can see them, and they are too numerous to count! More miracles are performed, more than we could have ever imagined. I am now on a forced maternity leave, one I wasn't ready for. We had prepared for a maternity leave, thinking maybe one of eight weeks. I really thought come January my Dr would tell me no more working, but I was prepared to work up until that point. We were not prepared for a 5 1/2 week hospital stay, and we were not prepared for 5 1/2 extra weeks of no pay! But we serve a Great and Mighty God. He provided food and goodies for us, He provided money for us (It literally poured in and brought us to tears!) , He provided company and companionship for us. He took better care of us then we ever could have imagined, and we cannot thank you all enough for having such huge hearts and for taking such amazing care of us. We have amazing friends and family. We even had people think about our kiddos and they gave us Christmas gifts to give to our kids (which they LOVED by the way!)! God thought of everything before we even had time to think about it. I hadn't thought about how we were going to pay the bills yet, when my friend said she was going to set up a go fund me account for us, because she had people asking where they could give. I mean seriously you cannot make this kind of provision up! We serve a very big God, and for that we are grateful! Do you see the gifts? They just keep pouring in!
Me, 36 weeks pregnant, ready to head downstairs for my C-section! (*I'm huge...good thing he came early!)
Maybe just a little blue?!
Not even 2 minutes on oxygen, and he is fine!
AND now it is baby time! Our most precious gift, the one of bringing a special, new life into this world! He is born 4 weeks early via C-section at 11:30 am. Weighing 7 lbs 15oz, and is 19" long. A wonderful, good sized baby! I hear them say he needs oxygen, again I hear "Be still and know that I am God!", and we were warned that he may need oxygen he is to be born a preemie and with that comes unknown territory and with that unknown there may be some extra medical intervention needed.
I get to hold my sweet baby!
We get to go upstairs together. This is big for us, a God thing! There is no NICU needed for this good sized preemie. An answer to mommy and daddy's prayers! We get to recover together. Then for some reason they decide to check his blood sugars. Still not sure why, again a God thing. They are low. They decide Sunday at 1130 that he will need to go to their step down unit for IV treatment to keep his blood sugar up. I can still go down to nurse him, but there is no bed available, and since I just had major surgery, I pretty much just go down to nurse him, and snuggle for a couple minutes before I need to head back upstairs (usually for some pain meds!) By 2:30am he is OFF the IV not even 24 hours later he is off! Another answer to prayer. Monday the Drs come around and tell us that I can for sure go home today as planned, and as long as he passes the rest of his tests, he can too! What seemed like a set back at the time, turns out to be nothing major at all. Although, we had to trudge downstairs every 3 hours for feedings (something mommy would do no matter what!), it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience! We start packing up our things, and only leaving out the essentials knowing it will probably be sometime after lunch when they can do the car seat test, and give us the "official" all clear to go! The blessings just keep coming! We are beyond ecstatic! He passes his car seat test, one thing we never doubted he would be able to do, and we get the all clear to go. We finish packing up some stuff, and come back downstairs for another feeding...in walks the resident "um, I'm sorry but we would like to keep the baby over night. We can move you to a room here on this floor with him, but his bilirubin level is starting to go up, and we would like to monitor it. We will recheck it in the morning and if it is fine you can go home them." Wait, what? All my dreams come crashing down. We have been here 5 1/2 weeks, and were already told we could go home today if we had an appointment scheduled for tomorrow,which we did, and now you want to keep us an extra night just in case... Lucky for us the nurse was in the room with me, when the resident was talking with me, and she had stayed to listen to what the resident said. I just looked at her defeated as the resident left. The nurse turned to me and said "you are still in charge, and are his mommy. If you think you can go home, then tell them you would like to go home. We can send you home with some formula, that helps kick the bile out better than breast milk sometimes, and you can just give him a couple mls after you are done nursing him to give his system a boost. I don't see what you need to stay here for an extra night just in case. We will talk with the resident and see what we can work out. You were already told you could go home today, and we are going to try and get that to happen." This nurse, an absolute angel in my mind. She was on my side, and was going to fight for me to be able to keep our family together, and to spend a night in our own home, this night, together in our own bed! Turns out we got to go home!! I am ever so grateful, to our angel nurse (and to all the angels who took care of us our entire stay!) who got us out of there that evening!
Heading home!
We are HOME! And the Dog won't leave us alone!! I think he missed mommy!
The Doctor had so graciously allowed us to go home, but ONLY IF we made an appointment for the next morning! And we made sure to get an appointment with both lab, and the Doctor (unfortunately mine was on vacation, but we got to see a wonderful PA instead!) Turns out his bilirubin was too high- which we pretty much already knew when we woke up that next morning (he was looking a bit orange!) We were immediately sent to the hospital here in town. Now this may seem unfortunate, we are now back in the hospital, but really it wasn't! Let me tell you the good things! We have no other kiddos home at this point, so really what else did we have going on? Nothing really except just chilling around the house, and guess what you can do that just as easy in the hospital. I know, I know I was desperate to get out, and here I am a day later back in, and we are just fine. See now we are in our home hospital. Greg doesn't have to drive an hour to see us, he has to drive maybe 5 minutes if the traffic is bad. See?! Not such a bad deal. We are told we will stay overnight. No biggie! They will provide a meal for both of us if we both decide to stay, and they will bring in a cot if Greg wants to stay. Greg opts for the night of good sleep at home, and I stay up with baby! Another good thing about this, the hospital bed that I get to sleep in again. Let's just say when you can't use your abs, and you are sleeping in a regular bed, getting up in the night can be quite difficult. I am actually thankful for the chance for another night in a bed that can move you to a sitting position with the push of a button! See?! More good! His bilirubin levels are down by the next morning, and off we go!
Little man getting his sun tan on!
After a check up the next morning at the hospital it is decided, yet again, that he will need to be under the bili lights! Back up to the hospital we go! And we get to spend New Year's Eve in the hospital! Let me tell you what. Now I have gotten to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and New Years morning now in the hospital! We are on a roll!! My wonderful hubby left us for a bit, and went up to the local Dillons, bought us a bottle of Sparkling Grape Juice, and a meat and cheese tray! That way we could feel like we were bringing in the New Year! LOL! Got my New Year's Kiss from two sweet men! And Greg left for a good nights sleep at home, and I stayed with the little man! We were sent home again the next morning! We continue to go back for heel sticks, until we get the all clear! Thankfully during all of this my mom still had the kiddos, and Greg thankfully had the week off. This made all this even easier, no one needed to take extra time off to transport me and baby around all the time, and we didn't have to split up for the hospital sleeps except for at bed time! Made life easy. Again, we were blessed tremendously with the way that everything was worked out by God!
We are finally home! No more overnight hospital stays! Feels good!
Our big, dirty van!
We are all back together! We could not have been more blessed during this time! We have been given so many gifts, and we cannot thank everyone enough! You all have loved us so well during this time! You have given us your time, resources, money, attention, prayers, gifts, taken care of our fur babies, and our babies! We are blessed! We are thankful for everyone that God has put into our lives. We have been truly touched by everyone of you!
You see?! God didn't just give us one gift! He gave us thousands! Although, this little man the most beautiful gift!
God had put it on our hearts to find a name with significant meaning! I wanted a name that meant gift or miracle. We came up with Micah which means Gift from God, and Who is like God? I wanted it to mean gift purely because he was born in God's timing and not our own! Who would have thought that he would live up to his name so perfectly in every aspect of his life?! God did! And we will forever remember all of God's goodness, and that there is no one like our God! Our God who performs miracles, and gives us the best gifts!
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